


Lost

by Syrum



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Canonical Character Death, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 14:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19889722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syrum/pseuds/Syrum
Summary: He's lost her, yet he cannot be allowed to grieve.  There's too much still to do, and yet their little party is at breaking point.Noctis struggles in the aftermath of Lunafreya's death.





	Lost

**Author's Note:**

> These were my thoughts the first time I played through the game, after Luna's death. I've gathered it all up, and this is the story we get!

The metal grating beneath his feet scraped and clattered as he walked, heavy boots seeming too loud, the sound oddly jarring even in the heavy bustle of the train station. Dust clogged his nose, coated his tongue with a flavour that might have been unpleasant, if he could bring himself to care. His legs felt numb, fingers too, as though everything beyond the ringing in his head and the slow, painful clench of his heart had ceased to function, to matter.

There was nothing to take his mind off it. Not that anything truly could. Prompto remained unusually quiet, staring off into space more often than not, leaning against the metal railings long enough that they bit into the skin of his forearms, leaving red indentations that would remain for perhaps an hour on his pale and easily-bruised skin. Ignis, when he spoke, kept his tone as calm and professional as he always had, as though nothing had changed.

Everything had changed, though. For all of them; Noctis wasn’t stupid, he knew the consequences of their present situation spread aeons farther than his own pain-bright grief, and he wasn’t heartless either no matter what Gladio might think. He could see the nervous twitch of fingers against the leather palms of those silver and black gloves that may never be used for driving again, could see the minute swivel as Ignis sought out any small sound in the hopes of tracking down what might have made it and ascertaining whether it would turn out to be a threat or not.

Without his eyes, everything could be a threat, everything  _ was _ a threat. Noctis could see it in the way Ignis flinched whenever Prompto placed a hand to the small of his back to help guide him safely from the train, or the way he leaned into Gladio as he was led through the sparse crowd, the noise of strangers more threatening than it ever had been in the darkness of his new world.

Noctis hadn’t spoken to Gladiolus since the train, had neither wanted to nor needed to.

No, that was a lie; he wanted input from his friend, needed the reassurance that this -  _ all _ of this - would be fine. Even as he knew it  _ wouldn’t _ .

And yet, even as he had sought Gladio out, in the company of Ignis to hopefully calm the worst of his temper, all he received for his efforts was a piercing glare and the creak of leather from Gladio’s one gloved hand as he clenched it hard under the table. A greeting from the man tending the restaurant drew his attention, and by the time Noctis had waved him off and turned back to his companions, they had gone.

He wandered in a daze for a while, first back to Prompto, then - when it was clear his presence wasn’t entirely appreciated - further on, until the only familiarity remaining was the taste of death on his tongue. Then, and only then, did Noctis run.

Hard and fast, boots pounding against the yellowed stone beneath them, Noctis ran until his legs gave out and his lungs could barely draw breath, until the only remaining signs of civilisation were the occasional empty cans and scraps of food wrappings that had been carried there on the wind. Then, with nothing left to power him forwards and knees pressed into the dirt, he screamed.

Screamed for Ignis, screamed for Gladio and for Prompto and for the silent agony that was swiftly devouring him whole. Mostly, though, he screamed for Luna.

His best friend, his confidante, the one person who had remained with him throughout everything and his only rock when everything became too much. He hadn’t wanted to be king, hadn’t truly wanted to be a prince. All he had ever wanted, for as far back as he had known her, was to keep Luna safe and happy and at his side.

_ Luna _

Noctis wasn’t certain when the screaming truly stopped, silent and pained once his throat could no longer form sounds, much less words. He could not have said if he had cried, or when he had curled in on himself, but it was long past dark by the time a nervous hand stroked over his shoulder and paused, waiting.

Waiting for admonishment, maybe, yet it did not come and the hand grew bolder, moving over his back and up, down and up, in a gesture that was perhaps meant to be soothing. There was a voice, too, Noctis was sure of it, yet he could not hear the words themselves, drowned out by the howling of the wind.

Or, perhaps that was only within his own head too, hair flat and lank over his eyes and night air still against the bare skin of his cheek. Fingers followed his thought patterns, or led them, brushing dark locks from before his vision and tracing over one cheekbone to rub at the dirty, smudged tracks that marred it.

“Noctis, we need to go back.” It stabbed at his chest, the not-quite-nervous quality of Prompto’s voice. They couldn’t go back. They could  _ never _ go back. His hand reached out, unbidden, burying itself in the loose, tartan patterned fabric that hung beneath his waistcoat and pooled around his bent legs. He held on, a lifeline in red and black, even when arms - bold through association - tugged him into an unbreakable embrace. Noctis let himself be held, burrowed into it, nose against fabric and leather and comfort that he likely didn’t deserve but chased after regardless.

This was his everything, now. This was all he had left.

_ Not you, too. _

_ I can’t lose you too. _


End file.
